My Papa's Decision Has Been Made...

After talking to his doctors and another ambulance ride because of convulsions and lack of breathing...like the first night...as well as consulting with a daughter from his first marriage who is an Oncology nurse...he came to his choice and my nana and I to ours...

My Papa is refusing treatment for his cancer. 

Esophageal Cancer is aggressive and would require not only Chemotherapy, but Radiation as well. And to quote his daughter, the Oncology Nurse: "The treatment is brutal and the Cancer is aggressive. Hospice would be the best place for him." And to also quote his doctor: "Sometimes the best treatment is no treatment."

He is 82 years old with a bad heart and had a heart episode or mild heat attack when the paramedics were at our house. The cancer has spread to his lymph nodes and after having a pet scan and biopsy of his kidneys, he has kidney cancer as well. And both Chemo and Radiation are harsh treatments and do not differentiate from what they go after. Yes they kill the cancer but they can kill what is around them too, and often do. The doctors have to make a choice if they will do anything with them based on what is around them. And what is close to my papa's cancer that is already weak, is his heart. 

His doctor won't come out and say it, but his daughter will, the first treatment would most likely kill him. His heart would give out. 

So he is going into In Patient Hospice care. They will keep him comfortable and out of pain while nature takes it's course. It is what he wants and we are going to honor that. We met with the Hospice people and they are wonderful. The same company that cared for my Gram (great grandmother, fathers side) until she passed. So, we trust them. I only hope that he will go quietly in his sleep and that it will be painless. That is what he wants, that is what I want, that is what his daughters want, and that is what my Nana wants. This has been hardest on her...she adores that man, and to see him like this is hell on her. I just hope that she will be alright as well, because stuff like this is hard on the caregivers too...I just want things to work out in the right way...to where there is minimal pain to my grandparents and myself...but I cannot be sure...but I have to have hope.